Hi, my name is: Random Person

Today, I sat down in the hallway of the theatre building to eat my $9 salad. Digression: HAMMER OF THOR! THAT IS TOO MUCH MONEY FOR RABBIT FOOD! As I sat munching and looking around, the guy who rides the floor-buffer-thingy came around the corner to clean that hallway. "Should I move?" I asked him. "No," he said genially, "I can just go around you." It was a lonely, pathetic, amusing picture: me, knees up to my chest, eating a salad with the custodian cleaning in a circle around me. The picture decreased on the pathetic-o-meter when several other people came and sat down as well. No one in particular, just some folks from my PODS class and a handful of others I don't know, plus one guy from the BFA Acting program who knew one of the other girls. As I listened to him talk, I thought again for about the millionth time about auditioning for the BFA program.

Eventually, I had to halt my musings to get up and go to class, and as I walked away, several people said bye, and then some kid said, "Bye random person!" Granted, this was an ill-fated attempt at humor, but it made me think. I don't want to be a random person in this department, I want it to be my niche. Or do I? Haha, congratulations, you are now privy to only the first layer of the smelly, sweaty tennis match that I've been having with myself on the matter.

During class, we did an exercise which required a partner. The student running the presentation said, "Grab a partner," and the guy next to me, Brad, grabbed my arm. I grabbed his arm in response, and then he gave me a warm side hug. This guy is like 6'2", scruffy little beard, like 22 years old, very handsome, very talented...ugh, he's a beautiful thing. But yet again, I digress...Brad and I have never really talked in class or anything, so I just thought it was sweet of him to be so welcoming to me and partner up when he knows several people in the class. He is one of the BFA actors. His very talented and awesome friend in that class, Chelsea, is as well.

Being backstage for Anne Frank, and getting to know the BFAs more now that I have classes with them, and taking Acting I, and meeting some of the teachers...all of these things contribute to the exhuming of my not-quite-dead desire to audition for the program.

After class, I sat on a chair outside my acting/directing teacher's room, contemplating my dilemma and wondering whether or not I should ask my teacher, Betsy, about it. As I sat, a girl named Erin, who is playing Anne Frank in the show, walked by and greeted me. I asked how she was feeling about tomorrow (opening night), and she expressed a lot of nervous excitement. She is great in the role, and a very sweet person. Then she asked who I was waiting for, and I said, "No one. I'm just thinking. I feel like I'm waiting for Godot." She laughed (I love when people get my jokes), and then we talked about my quandary. As it turns out, Betsy overheard me, and told me to come talk to her on Thursday when she isn't super busy. So now I inadvertently got an advising appointment from her, and I think I'm going to try to talk to Carrie (PODS instructor) tomorrow as well...I respect both of these women a lot.

Problems? Neither of them are Christians, and so I'm going to be missing that perspective...but way beyond that, if I audition, get in, and join the BFA program, I will not get out of here in four years. I don't know because I haven't asked, but I don't think my parents will want to pay for more than four years when the reason I'm here longer is because of Acting. PS - I would double degree. I'm not leaving without an English degree, because I really don't know yet what I want to do with my life, or rather what Jesus wants to do with my life.

My dad was 100% behind me adding a second minor, which surprised me, but he really like the idea of me doing Creative Writing. I think this possibility will go over, we'll say, a little less smoothly. And, I mean, I can audition for the BFA and if I don't get in, then that's solved (at least for a while, probably forever), and if I do get in but decide I shouldn't do it, I'll make an alternate very, very happy, and I'll know that I had the option. I won't live life wondering, I'll just live with my decision, which seems easier to me. And since, at the moment, I'm seriously considering it, I wouldn't feel guilty auditioning.

We'll see what happens after I talk to my advisor, Carrie, and Betsy...a lot can get shot down or changed around in an advisor meeting, so after three in two days, I might come out of this with a whole new take on things. Only time, and guidance from God, will tell.

Your prayers are appreciated, as are comments with your thoughts on the subject! Feel free to agree, disagree, supplement, or what have you...I'll take any kind of discussion I can get!

Peace in Jesus (because we are so much more than Random Person to Him!),
Lindsey