What would reality be without fiction?

She sat on her bed, shoulders slumped forward, her legs folded loosely in front of her. A Bible lay open on her lap, but she couldn't focus. The house was full of deafening quiet, daring her to speak, to even utter a whisper. She chanced it: "Oh God..." Nothing happened. Setting aside her Bible and outstreching her legs, she rested her head on the wooden bed frame. Soon this became intollerably uncomfortable, and she scooted down onto her back and stared up at the familiar valted ceiling. Her posters and paint and wallpaper, her pictures of friends and family, her stuffed animals arranged neatly on the ledge above her closet...she surveyed all these before finally closing her eyes. This only made matters worse. Countless scenes flashed through her mind, and when she opened her eyes again, tears that had gathered in her eyelashed fell as she blinked and streamed down her cheecks. Immediately she removed her glasses, placing them on top of her Bible, and pressed her palms against her eyes.

Suddenly, a brilliant light filled the room, and her view of everything in it was momentarily marred. She sat up, put her glasses back on, and slung her legs over the side of the bed, waiting. Another instant, and the light passed. Everything around her emimated slightly with the remants of the glorious light, and before her stood a man. He was dark brown, with long brown hair and a beard that was not dirty, but slightly unkempt. He looked down at her tenderly, examining her with his deep brown eyes, and then his face broke slowly into a wide smile. Her face cracked into a half smile, and she greeted him casually. "Hey Jesus."
"Hey Ellie. How are you?"
"Good, thanks."
"Is that so?"
"Yes," she replied indignantly. He eyed her closely, but said nothing. "I mean, I have two great parents that love me, I have a huge adult support base, I have the best friends in the world, I have a roof over my head, pleanty of food and clothing, I live in a free country, I'm healthy, and I get to receive an education. And I know you. So why shouldn't I be good?"
"I didn't say you shouldn't be," he replied kindly. "I merely suggested you might not be."
"Well, it's stupid anyway. I don't know what my problem is."
"Well, maybe I do." She averted her gaze, but he took her face in his hand and gently brought her eyes back to his. Smiling an understanding smile, he said, "Let's go for a walk."

Instantly they were outside. Tonight he had brought them to a peaceful country lane which passed between quiet storefronts that were antiquated in style, but appeared fairly new.
"Where are we?" she asked.
"Early American boom town."
"It looks like Little House on the Prairie."
"You've got the right time period." They fell silent. Ellie started at the sound of howling in the distance, and the jolt caused her to look up from the ground and observe her surroundings further. Truly, it was like a scene from Little House. To the right, there was a family restaurant, a general store, a watch repair shop, the local doctor's office, and a Seed and Feed store. On the left, a lumber mill, a blacksmith shop, a tiny Post Office, and a tailor's shop. Dead ahead of them stood the church, a still bell shining in the moonlight from inside the white steeple. As she stood staring at the church, something cold nuzzled Ellie's hand. She jumped, and when she looked down, a yellow Labrador stared up at her, his tongue hanging lazliy out of his mouth, his backside moving quickly up and down from his excited panting. "He'll be good company, and he'll bark if wolves are coming."
"Are you telling me you, of all people, won't sense danger coming?" Ellie asked, slightly amused.
"Well, he'll be good company then." Silence fell again, broken only by the happy breathing of their hairy new companion. "Cast all your burdens on me," he whispered after a moment.
"What if I don't even know what it is? How do you expect me to give it to you if I don't know what it is?" she said, frustrated more with herself than with Him.
"My understanding is not contingent on yours, Ellie."
"It's just so infuriating!" she exclaimed without hearing Him. "Why is it just me? Why is it that I can't adjust? Me, of all people! People have been mistaking me for 18 since I was 13. My maturity and articulateness have been hailed by many. Everyone expected me to flourish because I'm social and generally well-liked and always ready for a new adventure. I'm the girl who travels to foreign countries, the one who always has a funny quip or witty comment, the one with lofty goals and an inexplicably low self-esteem that shocks people because, according to them, there is no earthly reason for it. I'm the one who always points to You!" she yelled, stopping short in her tracks, finally looking up at Him. "And now the love and joy and peace that I've promised to people in the past, I can't find myself." When He didn't speak, she continued, "I don't know why, but I wasn't ready to grow up. All my friends were, and granted I would be reluctant to follow some of their paths to full-blown adulthood, but at least they embraced their new life chapter. To me, it feels like I just finished the Harry-Potter-series-portion of my life, and now this chapter is more like Dickens--there might be something good in it, but I'm going to have to slog through to find out." He chuckled, and she smiled in spite of herself. But then her face became downcast once more, and she asked Him seriously, "So? What do you have to say?"
"My grace is sufficient," He stated simply.
"Oh come on! Give me more than that!"
"More? You mean more than my death for your forgiveness, my resurrection for your new life, my love that never fails, and my grace that covers you in every situation?" He smiled knowingly. "Let me ask you this: when the apsotle Paul cried out because he was in pain, and I told him that very same thing, does the Bible then say, 'And suddenly Paul felt magically better, and everything was good because he felt good.'"
"No," Ellie replied, supplying the obviously correct answer.
"Ok then. So have faith that my grace is with you--that I'm 'in the boat' as you would say--even if you don't feel it. Because in your heart of hearts, you know it's true." Silence again, and they continued slowly forward. Tears streamed down Ellie's face, and her sobs caused the dog to sidle up closer and look pleadingly up at her. "I just wish I didn't miss them so much...and I wish--" she paused, breathed in deep to steady her voice, and said, "--that I loved you more."
He stopped, forcing her to turn around and face Him. He passed his hand over her face, wiping away the tears with His nail-scarred palm.
"My love is not contingent on your love. I am crazy about you no matter what. And unlike you, sweet Beloved, I am not discouraged if people do not seem to love me as much as I do them. Your love for me is as perfect as mine is for you. I know, because it is my Life that lives in you. You simply have yet to give it full expression, full rule over your heart. You're still bogged down by earthly forms of love, and by earthly burdens. And as you continue to surrender those things to me, you will continue to grow in contentment and peace." Ellie said nothing, but wiped away her remaining tears and raised her head to meet his eyes. "Do you trust me?" he asked, smiling becaue He already knew the answer.
"Yes, I do. I'm confused, and I still don't feel great, but I do trust you."
"Then abide in me, and I will give you rest. You are safe, and I delight in you always. Go in peace, and know that I am in you and walking with you always. I love you, Ellie."
"I love you too, Jesus."

The alarm jolted her awake, and after a momentary hesitation, her feet hit the floor. With the sensation of the carpet under her bare feet and the cool air raising goosebumps on her arms, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and whispered, "Good morning, Lord."
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So yeah, I decided to kick off today exercising my creative writing tendencies. Hope you're not too depressed! I'll try to write comedy someday. :)

For anyone who doesn't know, I got rid of the Monday midnight to 4am shift! Which makes my boss Jay my favorite person! And today I have acting and directing class. They are both amazing, but I'm a little intimidated, particularly by acting class. But I'll try pep-talking myself in the shower today after work. :)

I might get a job at Centennial Hall, only if they don't mind me missing like 4 Saturdays in a row for costume crew. Centennial Hall, for those who don't know, is the University of Arizona's way-less-awesome version of Gammage at ASU. And if you don't know what Gammage is...well, look it up.

I have devised an eating and exercise plan that will (hopefully) help me lose a little weight (not a lot, nobody freak out) and get in shape by the end of the semester. I'll keep you posted (because you are so incredibly enthralled, I'm sure).

Alright, this has been a long one! Plus my computer battery is almost gone. So there's that.

Kris, call Tom and tell him how to comment. Yale doesn't have a course in common sense. (Tom, don't say that Yale does so have a course that discusses Thomas Paine...)

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Jesucristo es PURA VIDA!

Love,
Lindsey